I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
