Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
