But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
