we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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