well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The adults are the big ones right?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
