just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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