i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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