i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
