Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
