Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
