Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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