How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
