Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
