yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
