I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
