Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
