god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
