the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
