The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
