Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
