I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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