oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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