dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
