I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
