stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
