So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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