But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Found your dick twin last night
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
