He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
