Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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