oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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