why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
