Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
worst night to have a conscience
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
