so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
