I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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