no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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