the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
