I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
