is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
