I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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