lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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