O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
