So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
