She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
