We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
