HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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