how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
