that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
