you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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