dude i'm inner monologue high
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Vodka?
Forever.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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