yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She bit a glass in half.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
