two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
